Saturday, June 14, 2014

Is this a good essay and 1st paragraph and thesis?

Is this a good essay and 1st paragraph and thesis?
The education of a human being begins at birth and continues throughout his or her life. Since the early 1980's, North America has been "behind" Japan, Taiwan, and China in the subjects of math and science. As a result, America's competence in mathematics, science, and technology is at great risk. We should have math, science, and reading homework beginning in kindergarten because children need to face challenges at an early age. Our expectations for our children should be much higher(Bempechat 501). . According to statistics, the North American education system lacks a firm background in mathematics and science, thus school systems in these areas should challenge students to a higher degree. For a high school student, self esteem is essential.
Homework Help - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It sounds good to me.
2 :
Okay too much all at once. What are your statements you are trying to say first in your essay? What is your main thesis statement?
3 :
The education of everyone in every country begins at birth and continues throughout life. Since the early 1980's, North America has been "behind" Japan, Taiwan, and China in math and science competence tests. As a result, America's competence in mathematics, science, and technology is at great risk. We should have math, science, and reading homework beginning in kindergarten because children need to face challenges at an early age. Our expectations for our children should be much higher (Bempechat 501). The statistics resulting from these studies (reference them), show the North American education system lacks a firm background in mathematics and science. School systems in these areas should challenge students to achieve a higher degree of competence. Self esteem can be identified as a key to sucess in professions requiring math and science (perhaps list these in more specific terms)...(and quickly state what conclusion you want to make again) NOTES:. Try to keep a continuing train of thought throught the entire composition, so that the reader must come to the same conclusion that you write. How do you like my editing and suggestions?
4 :
Maybe you can condense your thoughts to help make your objective clearer. Here's an example: Education is a lifelong endeavor. Statistics show that since the early 1980's, Japan, Taiwan, and China have outperformed North America in math and science, putting us at a severe technological disadvantage. To alleviate this problem, we should raise expectations and challenge students at an early age [CITE]. Exposing kindergartners to reading, math, and science will increase academic proficiency and provide students with the confidence they need for a successful learning experience.

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